Hi there.

I'm Nancy May, the host of Eldercare Success.

before we get started, I wanted to share a comment from one of our listeners.

Chrissy Smith.

Chrissy says, I just wanted to let you know how I'm really enjoying your podcast.

My in laws are at a stage where they need help and don't want it.

My parents are pretty good about accepting help, but I know

it's difficult for them too.

Great show!.

Thanks Chrissy and thank you so much for everybody else who's willing to share

their comments and their thoughts or even make a suggestion or ask a question.

That's what we're here for.

Because as I always like to say, together we're stronger.

Now, let's get on with the show.

This show's about helping our parents gain a little bit more independence

when they have that tingly feeling in their hands and feet, and may

not even be able to feel them.

It's called neuropathy.

I had first hand experience watching my dad struggle with

the impact of neuropathy.

It was heartbreaking actually to see how his condition affected his ability to

perform even some of the most basic tasks.

Things like eating or writing me notes, where he always said in his letters to

me, Oh, I hope you can read my handwriting because I can't feel my fingers.

Or anytime I visited, he would say, I can't feel my fingers, but that's okay.

I get along.

I'm all right.

And he did, but even still, walking sometimes became incredibly difficult

because he couldn't feel his feet.

I know that many of you listening here probably have similar challenges

in taking care of your parents.

They don't want to admit that there's a problem, and that's okay, but just

knowing or being aware of it can make all the difference in their life and yours.

I'm going to dive into a little bit more about what neuropathy is and how it can

dramatically impact your parents life, their independence, and most importantly,

some practical steps that you can take to make their lives just a little bit

easier and give them some more dignity

Whether it's specialized utensils.

Or mobility aids or adaptive techniques.

There are so many ways that we can use to support our parents to make their

lives just a little bit easier when, Oh, my fingers are numb and I really can't

feel that pencil when I'm writing to you, But I hope you can read my writing.

Comes out.

by the end of this episode, I hope you'll have a better understanding

of neuropathy and have a little bit more power to take control or

give control back to your parents.

So what is neuropathy?

It's actually kind of a catch all term that describes damage in the

nerves, which can lead to a numbness, a tingling, or even a pain, especially in

extremities like the hands and the feet.

Neuropathy in the hands and feet, also known as peripheral neuropathy, say that

one three times fast, can be caused by a variety of factors, including diabetes,

Sometimes vitamin deficiencies, like vitamin D, which is pretty

easy to happen to an aging parent.

it can also be a result of an autoimmune disease like rheumatoid arthritis,

lupus, Gillian Barr syndrome, and other things that actually attack the nerves.

neuropathy can also happen as a result of infections,

and even toxins that can build up in the body over time.

Some medications can actually cause neuropathy as well,

like chemotherapy drugs.

then neuropathy can also happen as a result of injuries or trauma

that have impacted the nerves over time, hereditary disorders.

And even kidney and thyroid disease.

For my dad, neuropathy was primarily in his hands and feet.

Years earlier, he had had both hips replaced.

In fact, he actually had one hip replaced a second time because it wore out.

His doctor told him he exercised too much.

Dad loved tennis.

Dad also had arthritis in his hands, which is not uncommon

for a lot of elderly people.

And he would complain about the tingling or numbness or not being

able to feel a pencil When he was trying to write me letters, even in

making notes, I could see the videos that the aides would send me, and dad

would be making lists for Christmas cards and gifts to give at holidays

and other things that he wanted to do.

He was a list maker for sure.

And just getting the notes out for himself so that he could read them was difficult.

Sometimes even eating properly at the table was difficult for him.

Simple tasks like picking up a knife and a fork or holding a cup.

Can you imagine what it's like to try and feed yourself when you can't

feel the fork that you're holding or the cup that you're holding?

You can see it, but you can't actually feel it.

It's kind of weird for sure.

It also makes life incredibly difficult just for daily activities, That loss

of dexterity and the sensation not only made him overly dependent on others,

although he tried not to be, but at a higher risk for falls and injuries.

You see, when you can't feel your feet, you also tend to shuffle.

So having proper fitting shoes is important.

It's also important to understand that when neuropathy attacks the feet, you're

not able to necessarily feel if there's a sore or a rub going on in a shoe that's

ill fitted or just not comfortable.

We always try to make sure that dad's shoes were the right size, he had big

feet, and that the cushioning of the socks were good for him too and didn't bunch up.

That's not easy for a caregiver like us to do because, you know what,

socks bunch up even in my own shoes.

And if you can't feel them, those wounds happen very

quickly on frail, delicate skin.

And yes, the skin on our feet becomes very frail and very think over time

But those wounds can create bigger problems down the road.

So pay attention to shoes and socks and how your dad and mom's feet

actually fit into their shoes.

Unfortunately, a lot of podiatrists will sell you these ugly, I call them

Clawhoppers, the shoes that dad had gotten looked like Frankenstein shoes,

and I think because the toes were so large, I understand because they wanted

to make sure there wasn't any rubbing or the inside of the shoes, but they

also looked like they were probably causing dad more problem than help.

You see, these big boxy toes when you can't feel your feet

are difficult to pick up.

So understand that when looking for proper shoes and fitting When dealing with

parents who have neuropathy in their feet,

one of the biggest hazards for an elderly person who has neuropathy is

the dangers of falls or accidents.

You see, neuropathy can even make it difficult for somebody to

even notice if they've been cut.

Well, unless they look down and see there's blood everywhere on the floor.

That's not such a good thing, because then you got to run and get a band aid,

or a bandage, or God forbid, a tourniquet.

Okay, I'm slightly over exaggerating, but you don't want to get there.

when walking, it's also difficult for them to properly gauge the position of

their feet and where they're placing them.

So tripping on the edge of a carpet or even picking your feet up high enough

To get over the edge of the garage door into the house can be difficult.

One of the best things that I love for that problem is to make sure that

you've got a ramp from your garage or your front door into the house.

That makes it just a little easier in picking up feet so

that they can clear the doorstep.

Well, they don't even have to clear the doorstep because it's a smooth ride up the

hill and a gentle one, hopefully, at best.

Beyond safety concerns like walking or falling even because

you can't feel your feet

and yes, even feeling that you've got a cut and are bleeding

like a pig all over the place.

Maybe not like a pig, but in any case, beyond safety concerns,

neuropathy can also make it extremely difficult for an older person to

deal with basic daily activities.

That sense of dignity and wanting to be able to dress yourself or bathe

yourself can be difficult as well.

for example, buttoning.

Now, buttoning shirts or pants or zippers or anything like that, again,

when you can't feel your hands, just getting a grip on something or knowing

if your grip is tight enough isn't easy.

one way to make that a little easier is to make sure that clothing

doesn't have buttons or zippers.

There are a lot of attractive clothes out there now for older people and younger

people, where they're just pull ups.

can you imagine dad in Lululemons?

Lululemon, but I don't even know if they have them for guys.

I guess I'll have to check that one out.

Dad always loved his buttoned pajamas, but our aides made sure that his

dignity was kept intact and helped him make sure that they were buttoned

properly, or buttoned them up first and got them in up over his head.

Losing that sense of autonomy and dignity is really devastating

for many of our folks.

And it's hard for us to watch too.

As caregivers, we have to be proactive in finding ways to support our parents

and to help them maintain their independence as long as possible.

I know we all want to step in and say, Mom, Dad, maybe you need a little help.

And they're reluctant to accept it.

You've got to understand they've been taking care of us all their lives,

even if we're well into our fifties.

and thinking of us as the ones that care for them can be difficult.

So a little gentleness goes a long way on both sides, but

here are 10 ways to help your older folks with neuropathy issues so they

can keep their dignity intact and you can keep your head and heart intact.

first is to invest.

And adaptive kitchen tools, things like turnkey jar openers.

Or a rocker knife.

Now, I actually don't recommend a rocker knife because all you need to

do is get your finger underneath that if they don't have both hands on.

And oops, dad's lost a finger.

Not a good thing.

However, there are these big grip handle utensils, forks and knives,

that have a rubber grip to them.

And they're great.

They look a little clunky, and my dad was reluctant to use them at first.

But, you know what?

After he started to use them, he actually could feed himself, and not have to worry

about the food falling off the fork.

so that kept everybody happy, me included.

There are also larger plastic cups that can be held with kind of

like sippy cup handles on either side made specifically for adults.

now the kid ones are kind of small And again, if you're dealing

with arthritis, gripping a hand around a small item is not easy.

So I recommend getting a hold of the bigger grippy handle ones for adults.

number two is encouraging gentle exercise, which is going to help improve circulation

and mobility in hands and feet.

Now that doesn't have to be a lot.

A small one pound weight, just moving the wrist up and down is a great one.

Or even those squishy balls.

They can be fun because they can be funny faces.

I found one the other day that looked like a French bulldog.

How cute is that?

The third is to ensure that your parents have well fitted and

supportive footwear to prevent falls.

That includes making sure they're not too slippery and not too sticky.

Sticky shoes can sometimes grip too hard to carpets and that becomes a problem.

Number four is thinking about things in the shower, like grab bars, non slip

mats, and other safety features that are going to make sure that they can

actually get a good grip on something.

Now, a couple of weeks ago, we talked about grip bars and the smooth, fancy

ones that are very attractive and maybe designery like look lovely, but if

they don't have some sort of texture where their hand isn't going to slide

down, it's going to be more difficult for your parents to get a good hold on

something like that and prevent a fall.

So, make sure that the grip bars actually have some texture on them.

Number five is some topical pain medication strategies that can actually

soften or ease the nerve discomfort.

You know, there are a couple of CBD creams that are apparently very good.

I tried one once and I didn't think it did anything, but you

never know, it might work for you.

Number six is a cane, especially those ones that have the little

fore grips at the end, a walker.

Now walkers are important, because you want to make sure that they're

designed to make sure that your parent is able to stand upright, vertical,

because there are some that the Medicare organizations give away.

And they actually tilt the body forward.

So your center of gravity is well over the front of your knees or your hips.

And that's dangerous too.

I personally like the drive models.

I find them to be sturdy and steady.

Generally, most of the models are designed to make sure that your

parents stay vertical, not at an angle that improves their stability

and confidence in walking as well.

Number seven is to make sure that their living space is well lit to

reduce for any vision changes that might be going on, especially at night.

Now, if they've got some support at night, you or an aide or somebody

else, then making sure that they're around to help them get from the

bathroom to the bed or wherever they might want to go is important.

But even then, we need a little extra light at night sometimes too, to make

sure that we can see where we're going.

The last thing I'd want to do is trip over dad.

Not a good thing, right?

Number eight is Occupational Therapy.

Sometimes it works, but you're going to need a recommendation or a prescription

from a doctor to make sure that you can get PT or OT in the house.

You don't need to take mom and dad to a physical therapy location to

have them go through the grueling exercises that they might be placed

through at a place like that.

The comfort of your own home, or their own home, I think is

always best, when possible.

Number nine is to wear, I call them little stretchy gloves to make sure

that they have a little bit more grip in opening things or doing other tasks.

They may not always look pretty, but you know what, you can get them in

some pretty wild colors and that can be fun too, especially when you've got

a little bit more grip on the inside.

They can be lightweight and comfortable.

and if you're dealing with clothes for mom.

Why not hot glue a little bling on them?

They can be a fashion statement.

Your fashion statement, maybe not Yves Saint Laurent.

Had to say that.

Number 10.

Most importantly, please be patient and understand and focus

on preserving your parents dignity.

Their dignity is going to make your life better.

And it's going to help your heart too.

Neuropathy can dramatically impact an elderly parent's independence

and quality of life and put them at higher risks of falls or accidents.

Adaptive equipment, mobility aids, home safety modifications can go a

long way in helping your mom or dad regain autonomy and independence.

And then working closely with a medical professional using a

compassionate and thoughtful approach are key to supporting our parents

through this challenging condition.

I love that my dad cared enough to write me notes, even if I couldn't

read them or they were kind of cat scratched because of his neuropathy.

I'm pretty sure he liked sending me notes as well.

it didn't matter that they weren't long.

The fact that he was taking the time to do so is all that mattered to me.

And I'm pretty sure that mattered to him too.

watching our folks struggle with any debilitating effect of

neuropathy is pretty difficult.

but as a caregiver, I hope that these tips make the quality of life for

your mom and dad just a little bit better and the quality of life for

you as their caregiver easier too.

And before I go, speaking of falls and accidents, that can

happen as a result of neuropathy.

Yep, they can even slide off a chair, believe it or not.

I heard that from a trauma surgeon, and he said, most of the

accidents as a result of falls

Happened when somebody's in a chair.

Hard to believe, but it's true.

So, maybe we get neuropathy in our butts.

Oh, I better stop sitting here and recording this podcast.

On that thought, please, to help your folks, should they have to call 9 1 1,

don't forget to get the book, How to Survive 9 1 1 Medical Emergencies, a step

by step guide before, during, and after.

It's written specifically for you, the caregiver in mind, and

more importantly, your folks.

We deal with everything from what to do before you have an emergency all the way

through to the end and getting out and discharged faster and making sure that

your folks get home safely and soundly.

And even what happens when the 911 system goes down.

In fact, the 911 system went down in Texas just a couple of weeks ago.

So yes, it does go down.

And then if you like this show, please give it a five star rating.

At least I hope you'll do that.

You can get to any of your favorite listening platforms

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But please remember, the show is EldercareSuccess.

Live.

Please share it with your friends, your family members, or even somebody

that you see that might be standing online behind you at Starbucks or

Dunkin Donuts or at the grocery store.

And just looking a little stressed out.

You know what?

They could be a caregiver too.

A note about this show can be your gift to them, because it's my gift to you.

Take care, be well, and keep caring.

Bye bye.