Welcome to Doing it Best with Eldercare Success
July 17, 2024

Importance Keeping Up Appearances in Dementia Care: looking good and feeling good counts.

Why it's Important to Help Mom and Dad Maintaining Appearance, Even if They have Dementia! In this next episode of Eldercare Sucess , Nancy May addresses an issue few mention: why looking good is important, even if your paren...

Why it's Important to Help Mom and Dad Maintaining Appearance, Even if They have Dementia!

In this next episode of Eldercare Sucess, Nancy May addresses an issue few mention: why looking good is important, even if your parent or loved one has dementia.

💇‍♀️Ever wonder why it's crucial to keep our parents with dementia looking and feeling their best, even on their toughest days? This episode dives into the profound impact of appearance and self-esteem on their overall well-being. Tune in to learn why a simple haircut or a stylish outfit can make a world of difference for your loved one.

In this episode of "Eldercare Success," host Nancy May shares her experience and valuable insights on the importance of maintaining the physical appearance of our parents who live with dementia. From ensuring regular salon visits to avoiding demeaning adult bibs, Nancy emphasizes how looking good can boost self-esteem and improve the quality of life for those battling cognitive decline. These points will make your life and job in caring for them easier and better too.

📌Key Takeaways:

  • 👵👴Physical Appearance Matters: How regular grooming and even the simplest stylish clothing can significantly enhance the self-esteem of individuals with dementia.
  • 🌟 Impact on Treatment: Being well-kept can influence how caregivers, medical professionals, and strangers treat your loved ones.
  • 🧠Self-Esteem and Health: Maintaining a positive self-image can contribute to mental and emotional health, making daily living more enjoyable and dignified.
  • 🙌Practical Tips: How to avoid using adult bibs that look like oversized baby bibs; and, instead opt for more dignified solutions like larger utensils or quick wardrobe changes post-meal.

Personal Stories and Anecdotes: 👗

Nancy recounts her own challenges and triumphs in caring for her parents, including confronting a well-meaning aide about her mother’s increasingly bad haircuts and the joy of seeing her mother light up with new, stylish clothes.

Helpful Links: 📌


💪 How you can help:

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a friend, family member, or even someone you see at your local coffee shop who might be dealing with similar caregiving challenges. Don't forget to subscribe to "Doing it Best with Eldercare Success" on your favorite podcast platform and leave us a five-star review. Your support helps us continue to bring valuable content to caregivers everywhere. Visit EldercareSuccess.Live to leave Nancy a voicemail with your questions or comments for a chance to be featured on the show.

🎧🎤HostNancy May has gone from the Boardroom to the Emergency Room to care for her aging parents and educate business owners, corporate employees, and leaders with more strength and confidence in doing well and doing good.  Nancy is the five-star author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After! and an award-winning expert in managing the complexities of caring for an aging parent or family member, even from over 1200 miles away, or more for a Free File-of-Life to www.howtosurvive911.com

Nancy is also the  Co-Founder of CareManity LLC and the private FaceBook group Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be considered medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek advice from your own personal medical, legal, or financial advisors, as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2024 CareManity, LLC, all rights reserved. CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.

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Transcript
Nancy May:

Hey everybody, it's Nancy May and Doing it Best With Eldercare Success.



Nancy May:

Years back, I remember flying down to see mom and dad.



Nancy May:

It was always a treat for both of them, mom, dad, and



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me and spending time together.



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although mostly my visits were to monitor their well being.



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Make sure aides were doing their job well, seeing firsthand versus



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phone calls, video monitoring, and emails is always the best way to make



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sure that things are kept at best.



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I'd also use that time to make sure I could go to doctor's appointments



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and keep that refrigerator stocked with fresh, healthy foods.



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and then any extra effort I could do to make their aides caregiving



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job just a little bit easier.



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but one thing had been bothering me on these visits.



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And it was getting worse.



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I know my lead aide had been trying to be very conscious about helping me maintain



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a good budget and had decided to take it upon herself to become mom's hairstylist.



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This aide also loved shopping for sparkly blingy clothing for mom,



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which mom loved, and we all enjoyed seeing the smile on her face.



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When she saw some shiny new shirt or a cute pair of pants, but that haircut.



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Well, they kept getting worse and worse and worse.



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You see, the reason why bring this up is because physical appearance and style



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was always important to mom and dad too.



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But we're talking about mom this time.



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From the very first day that I can remember, mom always



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took pride in how she looked.



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for herself and for dad.



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She took weekly trips to the beauty salon.



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And then taking special care in between each salon visit with her



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teased hair and that gentle backflip style of a bouffant of the day.



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Then as times changed and styles changed, the teasing and the lacquered hairspray



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styles became a lot more relaxed.



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Clothing was another important thing for mom.



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I remember a very special Easter hat that she had with these delicate



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little strawberries that would hang off tendrils on the top of a small cap.



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I don't know what it was, but I just loved watching those things



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dance around the top of her head.



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and I remember when she bought a brightly colored lily pulitzer



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dress that came into style.



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Dad loved that one too.



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But now lily pulitzer is back in fashion.



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But what does this have to do with mom who had dementia?



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Well, actually quite a lot.



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As I mentioned, mom's handy aid haircuts were We're going



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from bad to what the heck.



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I knew mom was still checking herself out in the mirror and as time went



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on she wasn't feeling too good about herself and she wasn't looking too good.



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so on one visit and during one of our regular group aid meetings to assess



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where things really were going from the aid side too, I blurted out.



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What the heck is up with mom's hair?



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She looks like hell.



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all of a sudden, there was stunned silence.



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my lead aide at the time said, she likes it when I cut and style her hair.



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My reply?



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Take her to a salon.



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You're doing a bad job.



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Okay.



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Sometimes I open mouth and insert foot.



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However, sometimes being blunt and letting those working for your folks



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know who's in charge is important.



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not just for yourself, but for your parents.



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You see, even with dementia, appearance is important.



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Not just physical hygiene, although that's critical to good health, but simple,



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plain old looking good or looking hot.



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is important to self esteem.



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and yes, anybody who has dementia or Alzheimer's still has a sense



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of self importance and self esteem.



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Yes, self esteem is important to all of us.



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And if that feeling of looking good and feeling good is lost, it can



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often cause individuals with dementia to feel insecure, lose confidence in



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themselves and their ability to do things for themselves, even worse, even



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wanting to get up the next morning.



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can you imagine looking in a mirror day in and day out and seeing yourself?



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Just sloppy and unkept for days on end?



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You'd probably quickly lose interest in doing much of anything yourself, let



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alone wanting to sit outside in the sun.



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Now imagine if you had dementia.



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How much worse you'd feel.



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Making sure our parents have a way to maintain their appearance is important.



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It creates a sense of positive self esteem and gives them



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a greater sense of normalcy.



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Doing so can also impact how we or others treat our parents.



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If you don't look good, (we're not talking about Miss America here



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by any means, but just looking nice), then others, Aids, Doctors,



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Hospitals, Restaurant Servers, etc.



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tend to lower the way they treat our parents.



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It's sad but true.



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Have you ever seen anybody standing on line who looks kind of disheveled?



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and how people tend to just sort of stare or even back away a little bit?



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That can happen to your folks too.



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Beyond good haircuts and dressing well, I have another pet peeve.



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And this one's important too.



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It's those adult bibs.



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I saw oversized baby bibs with a catch all type pocket at the bottom,



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quite often being used in the facility where mom and dad first lived.



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I understand why AIDS place those things on some of the residents at mealtime,



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But, if they do not look like something that an adult would wear, ditch it.



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Yes, this is my opinion, but I think it shows lack of respect



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and understanding for somebody who's having difficulty eating.



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In that case, find a way to make sure that food is more



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easily able to stay on a fork.



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They have bigger forks, bigger spoons, some that are just easier to handle.



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or simply plan on a quick change after a meal, a blouse, a shirt,



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a t shirt, whatever it is.



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It's okay.



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it's only a piece of clothing and can be easily thrown into the wash.



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helping your parents.



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Keep a sense of physical pride in themselves is important.



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It makes them feel better about themselves, and you



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feel better about them too.



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It will support their desire to stay strong and healthy and mentally positive.



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PMA all the way was one of my mom's sayings.



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Dad would say, don't let the bastards get you down.



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Well, I guess that's just another way of saying PMA.



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Physically looking good encourages normalcy, even when days are



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tough, physically and emotionally.



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there's nothing better than feeling self sufficient.



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Even when you can't do things entirely by yourself.



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And having a sense of pride in looking good also help somebody want to continue



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to contribute to the world, even if that's only in their own home, with a



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family member, or just helping out in aid.



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It's just a matter of respect.



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Now, if you're not living with your parents, or even if you are take a



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look at how they're physically looking.



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don't have to really be ready for the next Yves Saint Laurent Runway.



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Runway event, but looking good will help them physically and mentally.



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It may even help with some cognitive challenges.



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Vanity can be a good thing for them and you.



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On your next visit with mom and dad, pay them a compliment and see how they react.



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Gee mom, you're looking good.



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My mom once told me, you're full of shit.



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Well, she certainly told me how she was feeling, but if they smile and say thank



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you, you know, you're on the right path.



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And if they frown and look a little bewildered, you also know



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what path you're on, other than the comment that my mom have said.



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I hope this short episode helps you think just a little bit differently



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in caring for mom and dad.



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And it'll help yourself too.



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Pride in our parents also gives us extra pride in who we



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are and how well we're doing.



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Looking good can help both ways.



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On that note, if you're looking good, you'll also want to do good.



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one way you can do that is by getting the book, How to Survive 9 1 1



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Medical Emergencies, a step by step guide before, during, and after.



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You'll learn what to do in the most difficult times,



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and How To Manage Through A Healthcare System That Is Not Always Looking Out



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For You And Your Folks Best Interest.



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Being Ready Versus Reacting.



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is the best gift that you can give yourself and your folks.



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Also, if you like the show, go to eldercaresuccess.



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live and give it a five star rating.



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You can give that rating there, Or you can go to your favorite listening



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platform from eldercaresuccess.



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live as well.



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Finally, if you have a question or comment, please leave me a voicemail



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message or drop me an You can also do that at EldercareSuccess.



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Live.



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There's a blue tab on the right hand side of the screen that



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says, Leave Nancy a voicemail.



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You can leave me a voicemail or send me an email.



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Simply click and follow the instructions.



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It's easy.



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I'll read your comment or question on the next episode.



Nancy May:

thank you for following and being a part of the Eldercare Success Podcast family.



Nancy May:

Thank you for following, listening, and being a part of the



Nancy May:

Eldercare Success Podcast family.



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If you see somebody online behind you at Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, or



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even at the grocery store who looks a little stressed out, You might want to



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give them a link to this show as well.



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As I said, it's eldercaresuccess.



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live.



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It can be your gift and they might be a caregiver too.



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It can be your gift to them because it's my gift to you.



Nancy May:

Be well, stay well, and keep caring.



Nancy May:

Bye bye.